What they say/mean

What She Really Means...

You want = You want

We need = I want

It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.

Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.

We need to talk = I need to complain

Sure... go ahead = I don't want you to.

I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!

You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.

You're certainly attentive tonight. = Is sex all you ever think about?

I'm not emotional! And I'm not overreacting! = I'm on my period.

Be romantic, turn out the lights. = I have flabby thighs.

This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house.

I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....

I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white.

Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!

I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.

How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like.

I'll be ready in a minute. = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.

Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful.

You have to learn to communicate. = Just agree with me.

Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]

Yes = No

No = No

Maybe = No

I'm sorry. = You'll be sorry.

Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it.

Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep.

I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important.

Can't we just be friends? = There is no way in hell I am going to let any part of your body touch any part of mine, again.

I just need some space = ...without you in it.

Can you help me with my homework? = If I keep whining, the fool will do it for me.

Do I look fat in this dress? = We haven't had a fight in a while.

No, pizza's fine = Cheap bastard.

I just do not want a boyfriend now = I just do not want (you as a) boyfriend now

I don't know; what do you want to do? = I can't believe that you have nothing planned

Come here = My puppy does this too.

I like you but... = I don't like you.

You never listen = You never listen.

We're moving too quickly = I am not going to sleep with you until I find out if this guy in Bio has a girlfriend.

I'll be ready in a minute = I AM ready, but I am going to make you wait because I know you will.

Oh, no, I will pay for myself = I am just being nice; there is no way I am going dutch

I'm just going out with the girls = We are gonna get sloppy and make fun of you and your friends

There's no one else = I am doing your brother.

Size doesn't count... = unless I want an orgasm.

What He Really Means...

It is just orange juice, try it. = 3 more shots, and she'll have her legs around my head.

She's kind of cute = I want to bang her till I am blue.

I don't know if I like her = She won't blow me.

I need you = My hand is tired.

I had her = I had (wet dreams about) her all week.

I really want to get to know you better = ...so I can tell my friends about it.

How do I compare with all your other boyfriends? = Is my penis really that small?

You're the only girl I've ever cared about = You are the only girl who has not rejected me.

I want you back = ...for tonight anyway.

We've been through so much together = If it was not for you, I never would have lost my virginity.

I miss you so much = I am so horny that my roommate is starting to look good.

No, I do not want to dance right now = Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on.